Fragment 48

This "Fragment" is going to be a short one due to the fact my personal situation still has not been resolved. At the end of my last "Fragment" I said that I would explore some of the material from a more mythological point of view. In this Fragment I shall take up two topics. The first topic shall be on the patron demon of serial killers; another addition to modern Demonology, and the second topic shall be on practice. I shall give some tips on self- remembering. So let us begin. I have coined the name "Cyrax" for the name of the demon of serial killers. The "Cyr" for serial and the "ax" for "Factor X" as Dennis Rader called it. "Factor X" stands for the compulsion to kill. Cyrax is a modern demon that was born due to compartmentalized thinking. Cyrax usually possess young males of all races, and sometimes women. The idea he was a demon confined to young white males has been exploded. Cyrax, like all Egregores, wants to be in charge; to be a person's homunculus. The trouble is a person cannot function in daily life if Cyrax is in charge. So Cyrax gets hidden in a compartment, where he can grow in power, to break out when the pressure becomes too much. When the pressure becomes too strong the possessed Cyrax take over the person to vent his rage in killing, rape, and torture. The reason Cyrax can take over a person is because of the lack of a permanent self. In compartmentalized thinking there are a bunch of different selves competing for control. Serial killers never have a strong sense of self, instead they feel weak, and divided. Remember Freud said the mission of psychoanalysis is to strengthen the self. At the same time as Freud, both Aleister Crowley and G.I. Gurdjieff were also proposing ways to strengthen the self. (In a future Fragment I shall talk about the timing of this movement to strengthen the self) If one does not have a permanent self he-she this becomes an invitation for Egregores. I call Cyrax a demon because he does not care much what happens to the host body. Cyrax is an Egregore that has its own agenda, and cares nothing about the host. In her book The person becomes a servant of Cyrax. In her book "The Stranger besides Me" Ann rule felt that as a child Ted Bundy did not develop a self; there was no depth to Ted Bundy, he had lost control of the different compartments that took turns running his life. This is why he had almost no control over his compulsions. Let us leave serial killers for now and move on to practice. Rituals, meditations, and self-remembering should be practiced every day. As Aleister Crowley said somewhere it is the drip, drip, drip of everyday practice that leads to results. If you want to take one day off a week; go ahead. It is best to view your daily practice like a diet. it does no good to stick to a diet for a day,or a week. Also remember that daily practice gives access to powerful energies. It is the discipline of daily practice that keeps the energies in balance. Your practice should be integrated into your daily life like a diet. I am not going into the "nuts and bolts" of daily practice, but I have some tips on self-remembering that have helped me in the past. Unlike most spiritual practices self-remembering can be done around people; one can practice while doing daily errands, or having a conversation. We shall begin with the first exercise that is best practiced while walking around. I used to use it every day walking to work. Try to shift your center of consciousness to the region of the solar plexus while doing your daily errands. If you lose focus, remind yourself. I used to tell myself to "wake up" when I lost focus. The purpose of self-remembering is to observe the mechanical reactions to stimuli. Brief conversations can be helpful, most of our responses in small talk are all mechanical. I used to think of it as tapes going off in my head when certain stimuli happened. I found out most of my daily life was mechanical. Let us now move to the second exercise which is a lot more difficult, and requires other people. This is not a difficulty since they are not required to do anything special. This self-remembeing exercise was inspired by Aleister Crowley and his command at the Abbey of Thelema at Cefalu Italy. Crowley commanded his follower to say "one" instead of "I". I have modified this practice for use in conversations. What one does is drop the word "I" from the conversation. Some examples ,instead of saying "I will meet you at the park, " I would say "meet you at the park". Another example: instead of saying "here I am' I would say "here am" Do not worry anyone shall notice their minds put in the missing I without them being aware of it. And when a fellow seeker tried it on me I did not notice either. This exercise is incredibly hard; try to do it for 15 minutes. I got to an hour once. These exercises really show one how mechanical they are.